Sunday, November 28, 2004



It's not official until we get the tickets, but me and Sharon (my bestest friend, as you will see to your right) are planning to go together! I have never been to Disneyland, and I also have never taken my two week holidays from work since I started working out of high school. I haven't really been anywhere on holidays. I have been to Japan and Russia, but I was really young, like 8, and that doesn't count....

When I was eight, me, my mom and my grandma went to Russia to visit my grandma's sister, who she hadn't seen in 54 years. When we got to the train station, my grandma was running towards some lady and they were rattling away in Russian. There was actually a large group of people there to meet us; apparently they took the town bus to meet us (the town has a school bus to use to go into the city). We stayed on my grandma's family's farm, in a small two-room house, with an outhouse and a well that was shared with other farms in the area. I couldn't understand what anybody was saying, which is weird when you're eight. I got to hang out with some sort of relatives that were my age, some sort of cousins. We drank a lot of this yellow liquid, sort of a bubbly lemonade, but different. I never found out what it was exactly, but it was good.
Every morning I would wake up and vomit, no particular reason. I figure maybe it was something in the air? After that, I would go collect the eggs from the henhouse and bring them in. They would bake bread in an oven in the wall, and I would eat the bestest, freshest, warmest bread, with some tea. I didn't eat a lot while I was there at all. I didn't eat any of the chicken because I got to watch my grandma's sister with a headless chicken, yanking the feathers out and then sticking her hand down its neck to pull out it's innards and fill a bucket with them. Mmmmm! I didn't eat any pork because I saw another relative throw a pile of hay onto this huge pig and set it afire, and I wasn't sure if it was dead beforehand or not, but while it was aflame it was releasing its bowels. I didn't eat any fish because it looked gross, may have had the bones in it. I used to eat seafood, but I believe I had stopped before then. So I ate a lot of toast and tea and tomatoes and perogies. I went with my half-uncle (?) to town on his bike one day, and saw Coca Cola in the store, but it was too expensive for our family to buy. All the girls there wore dresses, and I guess they were agog that we wore pants. I was forced into wearing a dress when the local paper came to take our picture for their big story on long-lost sisters reunited. Damn dress........

When I went to Japan the last time was when I was in grade three. My mom went to go teach English at a school in Tokyo. We stayed in an apartment building a few blocks from the school she was teaching at, so I would go walk to meet her in the afternoon. We would go to the yakitori stand and get a few sticks, since they were ridiculously cheap. I remember going by the pachinko parlors and wondering why I couldn't go in.
Since I spent so much time by myself while my mom was teaching, I would go to the video store and rent movies. I had Labyrinth for a week, got addicted. I believe that was about the time I got stomach flu. I would go to the video store, and ask the guy working there if the movie was in English (of course I had to ask him in Japanese). I would watch movies and cartoons, and "The A-Team" in English! One time I guess I decided to walk further than I normally did, and I ended up getting lost in Tokyo. By the time I found my way back, my mom was so pissed off, she had almost called the cops. One time while she was teaching there was an earthquake. Very scary when young and alone!

There's also the first time we tried to visit my grandma's sister, but for some reason we weren't allowed in, and had to hide in the Canadian embassy, or the apartment of one of the guys who worked at the embassy. I dodn't know why, but they had to sneak us out of the country under cover of darkness. We got to go through London on our way back to Canada, went to a cool wax museum. Lotsa pigeons...........

SO, when I say I haven't been anywhere, I guess I mean anywhere without parental supervision, able to drink legally. And it's been so long, I don't remember what being on a plane is like anymore. I'm sure it's way different now anyways. Gotta remember to leave my nail scissors at home! Stupid terrorists...........

Sunday, November 21, 2004


Argh!!!! AGAIN I am missing Spike and Mike's Sick and Twisted Festival of Animation!!! That's............... I don't know how many years in a row!!! Stupid days go by so quick.....

Saw my mom in 'Bye Bye Birdie' earlier tonight. She didn't have as big a part in it as she did in 'Cinderella' or 'Fiddler on the Roof ', but she was still pretty loud. That's my mom!

It was my grandma's 80th birthday yesterday. That's old! I remember asking her stuff about when she came to Canada, way back in the day, kinda interesting. My grandpa died when my mom was 16, so all I have is my Baba!!

Today is the anniversary of Evon's passing. November is a sad month.

Thursday, November 18, 2004

Fuck, fuckity fuck-fuck 

My fucking zipper on my fucking sweater broke. My fucking ovaries hurt. I have one cat. I am fucking hungry. My fucking car is scary and therefore undriveable at the moment. I am in a fucking piss and vinegar mood. I am going to see a movie about fucking tonight, funnily enough.... Sarah gave me movie passes to see Kinsey tonight. At leats somebody loves me. My laptop is making weird sounds. Good damn think I bought the fucking warranty. Burnaby recycling is fucking retarded, since they won't take most of our recycling. Why even bother having recycling pickup at all?? BASTARDS!! What, they want us to throw away things that could be recyled?? Make it easy for people to recycle. People are collectively stupid, and will not put forth the extra effort to take non-pickupable things to the depot. TAKE MY DAMN RECYCLING!!!!!

Goddamn planet.......

Monday, November 15, 2004

I have to take Pooky, my kitty, to the vet today, to get put to sleep. I have waited so long because she was fine overall. All of a sudden she has no energy to eat, because it is too hard for her to breathe, because of the cancer in her lungs. So that is what I have to do today. I am not excited about it at all. But she will finally not have to labor for air, or worry that she can't make it all the way to the bathroom. I will miss her.....

Thursday, November 11, 2004

So this morning was planned, by Neal, to get some people together to go to IKEA for breakfast. It's really cheap, and pretty good. The plan was that I would meet Neal and Nick at Brentwood Mall after I got off work, and we would meet Sharon at IKEA. I met Nick at the planned time, but where was Neal? No answer on his phone, we tried a few times..... We went ahead anyway, and man was that good bacon! Have to have breakfast there more often... As we are in line getting the food, guess who calls? Neal! Seems he slept in for breakfast! Well, the rest of us ate, and then I went to pick up Neal's sorry ass up from the skytrain station. We walked around IKEA, causing generally silliness, great fun. Neal bought a futon, and while he was cramming it into the backseat, he knocked my rear-view mirror off! Luckily it just came off the mount, so I slid it back on.... So, went back to my place to get money and the address for the auto wrecker I planned to visit, to scavenge for parts for my Veronica. Neal wanted to drive, and since it was so sunny out, and I was starting to get a headache, I let him drive. After backtracking a few times, with Neal doing U-turns at ridiculous speeds, we finally found the wreckers, which was closed since it was a holiday. I had tried to call earlier, and kept getting put on hold, so assumed they were open. Gak! So we left, and stopped to get gas. When I came back to the car, I noticed that I was missing a hubcap!!! Somewhere when Neal was turning around he lost my hubcap!!!! SOMEONE (Neal) owes me a hubcap!! Honestly!
So after all that, I have now been awake for about 20 hours, and will be glad to sleep. I get to take my grandma to the doctor tomorrow, and then shopping. She takes a long time when shopping, so it will most likely be a lomg day...

Wednesday, November 10, 2004

So, there have been a few things that have held my mind captive for some amount of time in the past few days....

Me Time
Some people don't take enough 'me' time. I'm sure everyone has been in a position, typically as a child or teenager, where they had to do something that they may not have been enthusiatic about. Example: when I finished high school, my mom was all, "Get a job!" I wanted to spend some time doing absolutely nothing, considering I had just finished 12 years straight of nothing but school, with the always too short two-months' vacation time between school years the only time to relax from school.
Me - "Ah, relaxation! No stupid, arrogant, self-centered people in halls and classrooms everyday!!" Joy!!"
Mom - "Get a job! Stop laying around collecting dust, and going out with your friends every day! Go to Superstore and get a job!"
Me - Not really caring about Superstore, went and filled out an application anyway to make mom be quiet.
Mom - Nagging me why I don't have a job at Superstore yet? Nag nag? Nag nag, nag nag nag? Nag!
Me - Asking mom how I am supposed to decide whether they hire me or not? I mean, really. That's like how she always tells me to be careful when I am in a car as a passenger. Beyond putting a seatbelt on and not covering the drivers eyes with your hands, how is a passenger supposed to be careful? Sheesh....
So, I get hired at Superstore. Great, a job. I realize that job=money=buying whatever the hell I want, which I have never had before!!! After a few months, mom starts to nag me to go to school, and stop working a dead-end job..... Gee, mom, did you not all but order me to work there in the first place? Now that I like working and having money, you want me to leave it right away? What do you want from me!! Anyway, I get a second job, so I work lots and money is fun. Meanwhile, nag nag nag to go to school. Finally I take some classes so she will stop nagging me to take something.
Mom - "Why are you still working at Superstore? What kind of job is that? You going to work there the rest of your life? Go to school!" (Remember, she made me apply there to begin with....!)
Me - "Well, mom, considering I have no idea what I want to go to school for, why waste the money on classes that won't do anything for me other than take money? Why not let me figure out what I want to do first?"
Mom - "Go to school!"
I did quit Superstore, because I was making enough at my other job, and Superstore kinda sucks. Enrolled in some classes to appease mom. Took a few semesters of random classes, since I still had no career plan. Tuition is paid for by a friend of my mom's (Dr. Harden), since my mom had no money for school.
Eventually I get asked by Dr. Harden what all these classes I have been taking for almost the past two years are leading to? I tell her that I was taking classes so the two of them would stop telling me to take classes, I had no idea what I wanted to do, and they both knew that. Then I get in trouble for wasting tuition money on go-nowhere classes. For fucks-sakes, what did I try to avoid in the first place? So not my fault that nobody listens to me!

It all worked itself out in the end, and now I have a pretty solid idea of what I want to do, so I am taking relevant classes. If I hadn't been pestered and pressured into going to school so early, when I had no idea what I wanted, I would have figured out what I wanted to take eventually, and not wasted money on classes that are not applicable to what I want to do now. This is one big long example that explains that people should be left to figure out what they want, and not shoved face first into decisions that will ultimately make them unhappy and/or unhealthy and stressed out.

In an MSN Messenger conversation with someone recently, I was talking about how I am trying to learn car stuff so I can do things myself. I mentioned that the tranny is possibly acting up, so she asks me if it is fixable. Of course it is, one way or another, everything is either fixable or replaceable. I am not one to throw something out if it isn't perfect anymore. I wanna learn how to do lots of things, like fix car problems, or even installing things so I don't have to pay someone else $80 to do something I could do myself. She says she is really useless when it comes to mechanical stuff. I tell her she should learn a bit, that way she won't be useless. I mean, I am sure I would be useless at surgery, but that is because I haven't learned it, and I can't envision a scenario where I will need to know how to remove someone's internal organs. I can, however, imagine instances where knowing some basic car stuff would be very useful. The person I was talking to (we'll call them Dee) tells me that it is not good to be too independent. I find this such a ridiculous statement! How is being independent ever a bad thing? So 'Dee' tells me that being too independent makes you unapproachable, you have to know your independence limits. I don't see how that works. I would much rather approach someone who has everything in order and can help themselves out, rather than approach a person who always asks for help with everything under the sun. I don't mind helping people, in fact I like helping people when I can, but when every time you speak to someone they need help with something, it can get aggravating! I like people who you can have a reciprocal conversation with, where you tell each other good things and bad things that happen to you, and get/give helpful advice on how to fix/solve things. I like not having to rely on people for everything, like driving places. Having a car is the freedom I always desired when I was younger, but couldn't fathom ever actually grasping. Now I have it, and even though it has its own problems that come along with it, all cars will have issues. I still have the option of driving wherever I want, at any hour, not having to rely on transportation or someone else to drive (unless I am drunk).

Anyway, that's too much writing for one day, and it's past my bedtime. I have planned to go to IKEA tomorrow, and then to the wreckers to scavenge for parts for my car. Hopefully I will find some goodies!!

Sunday, November 07, 2004

So I bled my brakes today, and it was fun! I got so gross, my hands were covered in oil and WD-40 and grease, and my ass, knees and shirt were filthy! I had streaks of grease all over my face (no Hitler moustache like last time, though), and I screwed up some of my nails, short as they are right now. I like it! I will be asking anybody who wants to get me christmas presents this year for car related stuff, like a good jack w/ lugwrench, and jack stands, and other nifty things....
Sad thing is that after spending the time bleeding them, my brakes aren't really any better, still squishy. So it could be a couple of things: they may just need to be tightened, or I have faulty braked line(s) somewhere, or a plethora of other things. I will find out eventually. But, at least I know how to bleed brakes now!
Since I have enough crap in my house, I don't need any more. For example, I have five dancing hampsters (you know the ones that sing and dance to different songs, like 'Kung Fu Fighting' and he swings nun-chuks around, and the one dressed like a doctor singing 'Bad Case of Loving You', etc), all 12 of the Furby toys that McDonald's had a few years ago, three smiley-face candles in all different sizes,....generally useless stuff. I don't need more! It took me a few years to free myself of the need to keep everything I ever owned or found, as I inherited this 'disease' from my mother, who is one of the best packrats ever. I slowly stopped agonizing over whether or not to throw something out, and stopped reading every word of every notebook of my writing before deciding if it was worth keeping or not (most of the writing is from classes like Grade 12 Creative Writing, and some math notes). So, that is why I try to ask for useful things for christmas. However, considering nobody called me or my mom up for Thanksgiving, I don't know if I want to go over to my aunt & uncle's this year anyway. Usuallt we go over there for Thanksgiving and X-mas, but maybe I can convince my mom to come here and we can make turkey dinner, so I can learn, and we can invite friends here instead. It would be nice to have my mom's food, with my mom and my friends all together. Stupid family.....
I am gonna try to go to the wrecker's a lot in the next while to search out parts for my car. There are a few Ford wreckers that aren't that far away from my place. If only I could register there for Christmas, like when people get married and they register at a department store or presents. Wouldn't that be ideal??!!

Monday, November 01, 2004

Well, I haven't worn a costume for Hallowe'en for years, but I did this year. It was great fun! I was pregnant white trailer trash, and Sharon (my best friend) was Jethro, my baby's daddy. She was a pretty good guy, some guy actually mistook her for a guy! I had crappy lipstick on, with some on my teeth of course, big hoop earrings, rollers in my hair, hooker eyeshadow, a big robe, a nightshirt and sweatpants, and I carried a doll around as my little girl (her name was Betsy). Very fun! Carried around Budweiser tall boys all night since I was drinking for two.....
Being white trash is fun! I talked in a white trash accent all night long, even when I went to 7-11. Poor guy working there.... Me and Jethro fought a bit, he thought I was hitting on other men (I was) and I thought he was hitting on other women (not sure). Pretty much everyone was in a costume, which I haven't seen in a long time at a party. It was kinda fun, since I didn't know anyone there except the people who live there. Anywho, that was Hallowe'en!

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